Waiting, wishing, hoping.

When you are in a meeting and drop a little square of Chex mix down your shirt you have a few options.
1. Go for it!
2. Stand up and pretend to show off your shirt. Hope that someone pulls on the fabric to create the perfect tunnel for that little sucker to plow its way through.
3. Pose the question to the group.
4. Wait and see what happens.

Much like a sly little anteater selfishly sucking away at little critters on the ground, my creativity and gust for life has been snatched away by HOMEWORK.

There I was, prime of life, just scooting along, and BAM sucked up into the bustle of busyness. I am now in the belly of the homework anteater. Not a pleasant place. The days are beginning to blur. I am unable to differentiate Monday from Tuesday in any way other than "paper one night with captain crunch" and "paper 2 night+bed at 3:30 a.m." When is it time to take back control? When is it time to say "no" I think I'd rather be forced to read the entire Twilight series while sitting through awful 90210 reruns with my eyelids taped open than to sit in a lecture for four hours.

Soon, I will be done. Soon, my evenings can be filled with unforeseen adventures. Soon. Will my prime be over? Will it be too late? Is the anteater molding me so that one day I can become a corporate American queen, void of individuality and spunk?

Udders

So, the other day I dressed up as a cow to get a free sandwich at Chick-fil-a. Last night someone found a rubber glove in my backpack (a leftover udder). They pulled it out and showed it to my class. My only defense: "don't worry about it". Could I not have just said "Oh, I was a cow the other night."

That said, I have lost respect from my predominately middle aged professional peers. I will now be the 20 something girl that carries a rubber glove in her backpack for the remainder of the year.

At the Airport, in between and content.

So do you remember that movie with Tom Hanks where he was stuck in an airport for like a month, maybe more. I honestly can't remember and I think the movie was a flop, but I think that he might just be on to something! I am now sitting in the Newark, NJ airport at a cafe. I have a fantastic view of New Jersey's industrial landscape that, in my opinion has an invalid reputation. It's quite beautiful. Why is that? One word: new. New landscapes, new people to watch, new foods, new restrooms, new janitorial staff (one of which is in my general proximity). All of this newness gives me a fresh platform to create and develop my own realities, to think of the most outragous, or more practical things that could possibly make up the existance that is New Jersey. The janitor (Bob we will call him), for example, could quite possibly have the most intriguing life on the planet. He could step outside of this airport, jump in the air and simply take off (after looking to make sure no one can see him off course). His flight home consists of a mobile phone call with his aunt, Angelina Jolie, and ends with a reminder text from his wife Colin Powell's step daughter (twice removed) reminding him to pick up eggs and milk on the way home. Yes, so it is possible (and seemingly even more so because I do not know any of his realities) that Bob has an extroidinary life. Sweeping the floor and carrying a large amount of keys on his sagging black pants is just a minute detail. 

Something tells me I should be enjoying this....

So, I have been thinking alot lately about life. What does it mean to be happy? What are the things that are really important? How much do I clutter myself with destractions from what is really the core of life?

Sitting on the roof of my two bedroom apartment overlooking the downtown of an adorably quaint town I realized, wow life will never be this simple again. I spend so much time looking forward to the next thing and thinking about my next "big step". Maybe this is it. Maybe I am living in my goal, maybe I am in my big moment. What if....I am wasting so much time with the clutter of materialism and looking forward to bigger and more exciting things that I will miss out on the beautiful serenity of what is here and now. Instead of missing out on some huge opportunity, the real tragety of my life would be to miss out on loving where I am right here and right now. So, all that said, it is all in my perspective. I choose to find good in where I am. I choose to find ways to be what God wants me to be starting from this time forward. No more waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect place. I am blessed with so many things, so many people, and so many opportunities-Happiness is a realization of what I have now!